Starbucks Is Eating All My Money

23 06 2013

I have a Frappuccino addiction, and with someone at my income level it is devastating. I have very little money, and when I get money, do I save it? Nope. I justify that whatever piddly amount I have isn’t worth putting towards my student loans or savings and spend it like I have thousands just waiting to be spent. It’s not like I have rent or bills or anything, so who cares, goes the mentality. Oddly enough, once I have a steady paycheck, I’ll probably be a lot better with money and budgeting.

Also, any of the Light Frappuccinos at Starbucks don’t automatically come with Skinny syrup. They are made with skim milk and I think the base is different, but the syrup isn’t, you have to ask for that separately. It doesn’t change the price, but you would think that the low calorie version would have sugar free syrup, or at least the versions that  would use the sugar free syrups that they already carry. Yes? No?

Other things I hate about Starbucks:

1. Baristas who get pissed when you tell them they messed up your drink. I’ve done that job, I know once a drink is done you want to forget about it. But I never got an attitude about it.

2. People who don’t know what they want. ‘I want something with chocolate. No, I don’t know what it’s called. I WANT CHOCOLATE.’

3. The ‘real’ Starbucks are inconsistent as hell when they make my Frappuccinos. Too thick, ice chunks, funny taste. I have a favorite barista in the frickin’ Barnes and Noble Starbucks. She makes it perfectly. I need her to make a tutorial or something.

Now there is a break, because I had to take a Benedryl and I’m too sleepy to type properly.


Bobbi Brown wrote this makeup manual, and the girly part of me that doesn’t care about practicality or sense or anything that isn’t soft and pink and glittery is all OMG I MUST HAVE ALL OF THESE PRODUCTS WHEE. The rest of me is all ‘…who the hell has the time or money or inclination to buy and use of these things? There’s twenty different brushes and sponges and what?’ Maybe I’m just bitter because I can never find a makeup that covers but doesn’t give me zits and doesn’t feel like thin cake batter on my face. …or maybe I don’t want to spend twenty minutes every day fixing my face and blending foundation and penciling my eyebrows.

…maybe I should get a makeup consultation or something. Or read the rest of the book. When I have money to buy it and take it home and put different things on my face.

Okay, now I’m going to talk about Active Link, Weight Watcher’s activity tracker thingy. I am now obsessed with it. I feel badly about myself if I don’t get 100% activity goal every day. It’ll be ten thirty at night and I’m doing jumping jacks like a mad woman going ‘I’M ONLY 98%, I HAVE TO MAKE 100% ARGH I AM OBSESSED.

No, really, I keep poking the jiggly areas of my body in frustration and then I go into plank. And then I eat baby carrots and pita chips and hummus. Mmm. So crunchy.

And I really really really want to like yogurt. And I don’t unless it’s really sweetened, which totally defeats the purpose of yogurt. So I want a smoothie, but then it tastes too much like yogurt and I don’t like it unless I put Crystal Light in it and ARGH HEALTHY FILLING EATING IS HARD. Sometimes I just want a cheeseburger with bacon and fries. And a milkshake. A chocolate milkshake. Sigh.

But I’m having a turkey burger with grilled potatoes, possibly with steamed broccoli. And that’s pretty good too.

Sincerely yours,



I. Hate. Crushing. HATE.

9 12 2012

I am so tired of this.

I put ‘Telephone’ as my e-mail alert so I’ll know when BB e-mails, and now I get stupid happy every time my phone plays it.

I tried to spend a normal night with Big C last night, and we had fun, but I spent half of it e-mailing with BB (who I keep wanting to refer to by his real name). Big C is all ‘He likes you’ and I’m all ‘Yeah, but fat lot of good that does me.’ I’m right, because there is a big gap between ‘I like you and think you’re sexy’ to ‘I want a relationship with you.’ Especially since he lives, oh, 4000 MILES FROM HERE! ARGH. And even if we did live within a mile of each other, he still probably wouldn’t want to date me. I give off the ‘I HAVE ISSUES’ aura or something. I am complicated! I’m wonderful, but…argh. I’m frustrated. I am also glad I didn’t give BB this web address, because that would be awkward as hell.

And really, I shouldn’t be crushing this hard. I don’t crush this hard. But I am now. MEH. I am simultaneously holiday happy and frustrated crush miffed. (That sounds like a lip color, frustrated crush.)

Oooh, something that has nothing to do with British Boy! I spent a crapton of money today-Lush stuff (some of it was for a gift, some was for me) Starbucks, and Sephora stuff. I did get a free gift with my Sephora Beauty Insider points, so now only a hundred and thirty more (that’ll take about five minutes) and I can get the free gift pack or whatever. YAY! …god, how am I ever going to afford a trip at this rate? I need to stop spending money on crap. But I like spending! It’s fun!

You know how much a ticket to Japan costs, plain old economy class? (Who the hell says economy class. It’s coach, everyone says coach.) It’s over a thousand dollars. WTF. I mean, and that’s not including hotel rates or an sublet, food, souvenirs, whatever else you spend on vacation. ::sigh:: I need a real job.

Oh! Back to British Boy again. He’s going on a train trip around Europe around Easter, and all I want in the world is for him to say ‘Hey, do you want to come along? It’ll totally be fun!’ And then we see Europe and have fabulous sex in train cars and fall madly in love like we’re in…I was going to say Trainspotting, but that’s the movie where Ewan  Mcgregor is addicted to heroin and a baby dies and they steal something and some other crap happens. It’s a good movie, but I think I’d rather live in…what’s a movie where a former one night stand couple go on a trip together and fall in love? That.

Not that I’m in love with him. That’s not possible, I don’t know him well enough. But I like him so much. And you know what I am? The penfriend of a guy who doesn’t want a long distance relationship. I am in the long distance friendzone. Except I can’t be in the friendzone because we talk too much about sex. So I am in the long distance friends-with-benefits zone. Which is even worse!

And don’t get me wrong, I know how stupid this is. I met him once. Once. At a sex club. Where we sat and talked before screwing each other’s brains out. And then he kissed me good-bye, and that was it. It’s not exactly a story you’d tell your kids, huh? ‘How’d you meet Daddy?’ Ha. Right.

…sorry. I’m going on. Okay, time for a poll!

Who thinks that, if this goes on for another month, that I should just confess and stop torturing myself? And who thinks I should shut up and just forget about the boy? I am actually asking seriously, blog readers. I feel like I’m in ninth grade right now, god damn my arrested adolescence. I feel foolish…but I love these fluttery feelings all the same.

Sincerely yours,



Hope and Disappointment

26 08 2012

Well, I might not get my money for school after all. I hate to be negative, but…really, universe? Come on, these constant setbacks are nothing but frustrating! It’s not a definite no, but I want to bury my head in my arms and cry anyway.

I said that to my therapist, who understood, but also refuses to allow me to be completely down on myself. Always try to find one person in your life who will occasionally tell you STFU when you insist on being negative.

‘My resume sucks.’

‘Bring it to me, and I’ll help you fix it.’

‘I have no skills.’

‘Yes you do.’

‘But no one wants whatever paltry skills I have.’

‘Everyone learns on the job, and you have useful skills.’


‘Stop being negative. This isn’t the end of the world. You can’t let your emotions control your actions, because you won’t get anywhere.’


So now I’m looking up resume how to articles and trying to write a sample cover letter. I hate cover letters. Hate hate hate hate. They all sound the same to me, no matter what you’re applying for. It’s you trying to sell yourself, so it always have the same undercurrent that annoys the crap out of me. And half the jobs I’m applying for? I don’t want, I just want to try to save some capital so I don’t have to work in some crap job I hate for thirty years to wind up with no money. In the meantime, I could get on a payment plan for school, but I’d have to come up with almost eight hundred dollars. In about two weeks. Yeah. Since I’m not running drugs or selling my body, I don’t think that’s going to happen.


I have a waistline again, holy crap. I’m probably not going to make my deadline of 169 pounds for Labor Day, but I’m only three pounds away. That’s not so bad. But I really need to increase my exercise, and I can’t find anything I like. I may just have to suck it up until I have enough money for a pole dancing class. (No, I have no desire to be a pole dancer. It just looks like fun, and I like the sensuality of it.)


A post or so ago, I talked about the death of my godmother. She’s been gone about two months now, and her husband already has a new girlfriend. She’s been in the house, lounging on the couch, and I want to smack him in the face. I want to go all smackdown on him and be all ‘Get that other ho outta my godmother’s house’. I don’t like the idea of him trying to fill her space so quickly, especially when his son had to come home and see her. My mother is of the opinion that all men do this, while women tend to wait longer. Maybe it’s true, maybe not, but in this case I find it completely tacky and disrespectful to both her memory and to their children.


I’m not getting my money for school. I am saddened by this. But! I will try to raise some money for the winter semester, and I’m going to appeal the decision. So, I have to keep going. Amazing how one day can change your viewpoint, huh?

I guess it’s because I had a really good day today. I worked in a garden; pulling up weeds, watering plants, eating the occasional fresh cherry tomato. Mmm. I have muscle aches, but I felt so productive! And also I got fresh greens, and sungold tomatoes, and chives and thyme! There is nothing like fresh produce. I’m not entirely sure what chives are for, but I’m going to look it up. I think they’re a garnish.


I’m going to talk about the shooting at the Empire State Building today for a second. Seriously, how is it that shootings are almost par for the course now? One man walks into his former place of employment, shoots his former boss, shoots eight other people, and then gets shot by the police, and it’s like, ‘Oh, well, that happened.’ I know, in the grand scheme of things, we can’t focus on every tragedy, but how did that even happen? It’s the Empire State Building, you’d think security would be a little more focused, no?

Sincerely yours,