Finally Realized Why Rom Coms Sell

13 02 2014

I read this today.

Read it.

It made me go ‘well, goddamn.’

I am currently roughly eight months into my relationship with Magpie. He’s sweet, I’m sweet, we laugh about ridiculous things, and I am very physically comfortable with him. (For anyone who is unaware, for someone who isn’t big on physical contact, this is a Big Deal.)

But I sometimes keep going ‘It’s not insanely passionate and earth shattering and wrecking me! It’s not TRUUUU LUV OMG’.

And it’s really really stupid. But as the column I referenced says, it’s not the story that we’re sold.

The story is always Man and Woman Meet. They argue about stuff. They realize they need each other and want to stay together forever. They kiss. The end.

But that’s not how real life works. Relationships that last, just going by observation and a little research, are born from respect, mutual affection, common interests and compatibility. Not stirring music and sexual compatibility and friction. That kind of thing fizzles out and then there’s nothing left.

But that’s what we’re shown. What we think we’re supposed to expect and want, and then we think that our good relationships aren’t good enough because we aren’t riding off on a white horse or standing on the front of a cruise ship.

It’s a fairy tale for adults. I guess we’re not supposed to outgrow it so movie makers can make money.

Well, I might watch them for fun, but I think the kind of romance I’m living in, right now, makes for a better story.

We’re both pretty broke and our fanciest date as of this post was a Japanese restaurant during Restaurant Week. His stubble is scratchy and sometimes when we sleep together it’s too hot and I have to roll away.

But sometimes we laugh without reservation, and can cuddle for hours. He respects me, he supports me, and I do my best to do the same. We daydream about sharing an apartment. And sometimes, for no reason at all, we just smile at each other.

I think that’s a lot of love, don’t you?