Valentine’s Day

14 02 2013

And I’m at home watching SVU. (It’s a Golden Age episode, AKA Cabot’s first round as ADA, when she and Benson were all up in each other’s space and UST and LesYay. Oh baby I love this. I would be in that sandwich in a hot second. Only thing better would be a Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock/Colin Morgan sandwich. Those of you who like men…

That’s Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock. If you have not seen BBC’s Sherlock, stop reading this and do so. Now. My dream man, ladies and gentlemen. Intelligent, insufferable, and cheekbones to spare.

And this

is Colin Morgan. Me-yow. That sandwich would be a Valentine for the ages. Yum.

So I’m solo for Valentine’s Day. And you know what? I’m cool with it. šŸ™‚

I actually got asked out for Valentine’s Day, we just didn’t go because he has flu, and then he has a work retreat. He says he’s sad that he can’t see me for several days. Isn’t he sweet? I’m trying not to get too attached too soon, but I think this is going to be fun. Still think about BB. I am tres cross with him. I also wonder if he has a Valentine. Meh.

And you know what else?

I hate and love Valentine’s Day. I hate the enforced ‘you’d better get me something I like or you’re sleeping on the couch’Ā stereotypeĀ that women seem to keepĀ fulfillingĀ  I hate the bitterness, and the idea that being in a relationship is a superior state.

But there’s lots of pink. I like pink. And chocolate. But good chocolate, notĀ Russell Stover crap that you buy for ten bucks in Duane Reade. If someone bought me that I would be very irritated. Hold out for good chocolate, everyone!

Tonight, I have RED VELVET CAKE! It is good. I may go and have some more. Or Froot Loops. Whichever. Sugar…I should probably do another workout or something. A lot of workouts.

In other news, I’m going to this job evaluation thing that my case worker sent me too. It was four hours of paperwork, and it’s going to go on for another ten business days. If I suddenly vanish with no trace from the internet, it’s because I died of boredom and my corpse was reanimated to be used as a clerical service drone. Whoop whoop.

I’m on the phone with Big C. We talked about metaphorical sky diving. …it makes sense in context. I will try it.

Okay, serious topic time! If you don’t want to read this part, good night!

I am thinking that, if things with Greek Guy don’t go anywhere, I just might not date for a while. I mean, I’m not in the best place to date anyone. I’m in a better place, but I have serious issues.

1. During key points of my development, I was conditioned to interlink sex with affection, especially from men.

2. I takeĀ fulfillmentĀ from sex and from being desired by other people (another result of my conditioning), so when I don’t feel wanted or sexually fulfilled, I am down on myself.

3. I can’t have sex casually with someone I even vaguely like because my brain, even more so than the average female’s, forms an attachment. (No, I’m not being sexist, it’s biological. Sex=possible baby=responsibility=responsibility is better shared.)

So, maybe I should focus on something else.

Okay, on a lighter note: Glee makes no sense. I still love that damn show. Also (SPOILER) OMG QUINNTANA HAPPENED.

Sincerely yours,





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