The Mentality of a Douchebag

6 01 2013

Here’s a message I got on OkCupid-not that there are any real winners on there so far, the last one seemed great until I realized that he had conservative politics, which is why he checked me out and didn’t message me, I’m guessing-but this guy is just…ugh. I assume he thought he was being cute. Here’s the message:

heey(; mm id eat you out from behind aha your hot (;

Excuse my language, but the fuck? I know such a guy is not interested in me at all and just thinks he’s being…whatever, I don’t even know, but what, exactly, is the point of that? Is that supposed to be a compliment? Why do men think it’s okay to completely objectify women, even if they don’t know them? Even if my first thought upon seeing someone is ‘Oh baby, let me have a piece of your cake’ (which I don’t think I have ever thought or said without breaking into near hysterical laughter), I’m not going to to message them and tell them that!

Despite my issues, I know most guys aren’t like this. I mean, there are very few gems out there, but most guys don’t talk to women like that. Guys like this are really making all guys look bad.

 

I kinda wish BB was a douchebag. It’d be easier to get over him. I think if we were on the same side of the Atlantic we could have had a shot, but I think I might be just telling myself that to comfort myself. I know he doesn’t really feel anything for me, despite e-mailing me once a day. I mean, how much effort does that take? But it’s still nice, knowing that I cross his mind every once in a while. And I found a song that makes me think of him that actually matches reality: ‘One Night Only’, from Dreamgirls. For those who don’t know the song, here are the relevant lyrics:

I have no doubt that I could love you, forever

The only trouble is, you really don’t have the time

You’ve got one night only, 

One night only, 

That’s all you have to spare,

One night only; let’s not pretend to care

One night only, come on baby come on

One night only, we only have ’till dawn

In the morning, this feeling will be gone

It has no chance going on

Something so right has got no chance to live

Totally suits the situation. It’s a good song. And now I’m realizing, yet again, that meaningless sex keeps making me feel hollow after. Having sex with BB didn’t make me feel like that. Probably because we talked, and he keeps talking to me. I don’t know why, especially since he knows I like him, if I were him I would be worried about encouraging me, even though I told him not to worry about it.

It really was a silly dream that he felt something for me. All the same, it was nice while it lasted, you know? Why can’t it happen with someone here? Someone I could really develop a bond with? Why can’t I get a message from an OkCupid guy who isn’t wrong for some reason? Maybe I’m too picky? But then again, I don’t want to go out with someone just to go out. I want a partner, someone I can sit back to back with. What’s the point of a few dates if it’s not going to go anywhere? I guess it could be fun, but I’d rather be by myself, if it comes to that.

I should probably sleep, since I’m supposed to be up in…less than eight hours. Mom convinced me to go into work to pick up my pay stubs and say goodbye. I don’t really want to, but I’ll do it to shut her up about it and because I’m not sure whether I should. Whatever, if I still think it’s a lousy idea tomorrow, then I won’t bother. Hope everyone’s having a good weekend!

Sincerely yours,

J.J

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