Dating Online…and other things.

5 12 2012

I got four messages on OkCupid today, which is nice. And not one of the messages intrigued me in any way. You wanna know what they said?

1. hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

That’s it. It’s like he blew a raspberry at me. Next!

2. What scares you the most about opening your heart to a man?

…what? What kind of opener is that? No ‘Hi, I’m so-and-so,’ no ‘you’re pretty/look interesting’, not even a ‘hey, let’s get coffee?’ Personal question plus sketchy looking pic equals…Next!

3. Just seen your profile u seem cool i think it’s dope u wanna be a writer…writing is my passion ive even had a book published…i def woul like to know more

He used the word dope, and can’t type properly. Uh, do not want.

4. Goddamn you are cute. God damn.

That’s it. His profile is two paragraphs, half of which are about how he likes the gym. And he looks…well, not my type. Spiky hair, cocky looking…nah. Next!

5. hey lovely girl u look beautiful and adorable how are u

Again with the text speak? Nothing about my profile? Once again, I’m done.

Then I got to my matches, and found one guy who appeals to me. I sent him a message, so let’s see! (There was a blonde girl who I thought was super cute, but she was really in shape and cute and I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t even respond…you know what? Hang on.)

I sent her a message too. What the heck. Worst case scenario, neither of them answers, and I go on. And try to stop fantasizing about British Boy. I really like him, but again, he’s a dream, like Japan and a train ride through Europe. Except those things might actually happen, while BB and I developing into a relationship is about as likely as me winning the lotto. Especially since I don’t play the lotto because the odds of winning that are about the same as getting struck by lightning.

Gah, I hate being sick. I feel like my head is in a vice and weighs twice as much as normal. I’m supposed to put salmon in the oven and I can’t summon the energy to get out of bed again. I wish BB would text me. And here I go again. I need a real date. Yup yup.

In the meantime, I need a miniskirt. I may not be a size two, but I still have a nice body, and I’d like to have a little skirt. I found a cute on on ASOS, with studs! Sexy, no?

And I weighed myself-I gained about half a pound. Considering, it’s not so bag! I’m still in the black. (Why is it in the black? I don’t remember the origin of that saying.) If I feel better tomorrow I’m working out. That’s a big if, though.

Anyone else excited for Christmas? I think we’re going to decorate this weekend. Oh, I have to make cookies tonight again! Maybe in a little while…I’m tired…

Sincerely yours,

J.J

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