Back Again

30 03 2012


A and I are probably going to meet next weekend. I’m not sure how I feel about it. That’s all I’m saying.


Went to my first Weight Watchers meeting! Whoo! Go me! I’ve already been using the tracker, which I have fun with, and I’m already doing what I call ‘points thinking’. It’s better than calorie counting, which just makes me obsessive. Points thinking is more like making healthy choices and thinking about what I’m putting in my mouth. (Ha ha ha.) But seriously, I’m looking more at the labels, and making different snacking choices. For instance, most fruits and vegetables are worth zero points, so that means I can eat them all up without not having points to spare on other things, and I’m not being obsessive, I just have limits now. And with weekly points you get to use however you want, and activity points (which I like to rack up and use for treats), I don’t feel like I can’t splurge a little bit. I hope I can keep it up. However, I need a scale like woah, because I have no idea how much an ounce so I have to sort of fudge it.

And now I’m totally thrilled, because [drum roll] I have followers! YAY! Hi guys, all four of you have made me smile from ear to ear. I’m…not entirely sure why I’m being followed, because this is all about my voice, but I’m glad you found something you like reading in all this!

And now for something more serious that I’m annoyed about. I went to the gym, started putting my stuff in a locker. A woman says hello to me in an overly boisterous way, the same way you would say hello to a little kid in a condescending way. I had never seen her before, and she said ‘Oh, I thought you were one of the women who works here. Hello anyway.’ Now, I don’t resemble those women in any way except one: I’m not Caucasian, and neither are they. But apparently that was enough for her to assume that I was one of the employees, because apparently there’s no visual difference between me, a darker skinned Indian woman, and the three Spanish women with various skin tones.

As for the shooting of Trayvon Martin, something everyone seems to have an opinion on these days…I don’t know. No one really saw what went on, even the one witness had a hard time seeing in the dark and the rain. Part of me is convinced that a teenage boy with no weapon is hardly any threat to a fully grown large man with a gun. Martin could have been scared because Zimmerman was following him, and might have lashed out, but I doubt someone who is afraid is going to assault someone to the point that Zimmerman claimed. And there was evidence that Zimmerman was following him, confronted him, which would mean he created the situation. …I guess I do think it wasn’t self-defense. It’s murky at best.  All anyone really knows is that a boy was killed. I think it was unnecessary, and that Zimmerman should probably be punished. How threatening was Trayvon anyway?


Side note: Toddlers and Tiaras (a show about child glitz pageants on TLC) is creepy. Like I’m sure pedophiles watch it like porn. And the mothers that push their daughters into these overly sexualized beauty contests are all fat and unattractive. Wish fulfillment through their children, me thinks. In any case, they need to at least get rid of the bathing suit part of the competition. It seems pointless, other than to sexualize the girls, which is gross because the oldest girls in these things are about twelve. Again, GROSS. I don’t like beauty pageants with adult women in them, so with little girls? No. We sexualize women enough in this culture already, we don’t need to place so much emphasis on the appearance of prepubescent girls. Especially when they have enough makeup on that you’d need a paint scraper to get it off.


I have no money. And still no job. And about a hundred things that I want/need. Like a new laptop. And a new phone. And things to help with my Weight Watchers. And all the costs of daily living. I mean, I’m significantly more fortunate than a lot of jobless people because I know my mom will take care of me, but I would like to be able to take care of myself. And I know she struggles with money sometimes, so I don’t want to be an additional burden. But I haven’t gotten one nibble, not one! …I guess I’ll send out more copies of my resume, which I don’t think reflects well on me at all, I am much more capable than my resume would indicate. To make up for it, I guess my cover letters will have to be more kick ass. But there’s only so much you can sell yourself, I guess. I need to find someone I know who’ll recommend me. I think you probably get more of a shot that way.

So on that note, I’m going to go look for more jobs on craigslist!

Sincerely yours,





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