The End of The Tustle

21 03 2012

Well, Staples, after three months, hasn’t gotten my laptop back to me. So I decided I wanted my four hundred dollars and my broken laptop back. They gave me the cash right away, which to be honest shocked me, because I expected their usual hemming and hawing and pussy footing around. I still don’t have the laptop, of course, but if they don’t send it back to me I probably won’t fuss about it too much because it doesn’t work. But they shouldn’t get to keep it, so I’ll make a little of a fuss on principle. My verdict, after all this, is still the same: Never going back there, at least not for tech services or a computer. I’ll probably go for notebooks or something, but I am never returning to tech support hell. (Apparently the company Staples contracts the computers out to, Blue…Mountain, Horizon…Blue something, their contract is running out. I shall write to Staples and tell them to get a tech company with some consistency, and not tell their customers something is going to be done in two weeks when they don’t know it’s going to be done.)

But now, I have to save up for another laptop. (I think I want a laptop, rather than a tablet, since what do I do most on the computer? Type/blog/surf the net.) But now it’s time for research, because I don’t know what I want. I don’t really play games like W0W (partly because hello timesuck), and I think I’d rather watch movies on TV…unless there’s a way to watch what’s on the laptop on my television? I’ve heard of that, but I’m not sure if my television has the ability to do it, it’s sort of old. Besides, I watch a ton of television, more than movies. (Really, I watch way too much television. I blame my current lack of employment.) So I need a laptop that can save lots of documents, and stays up to speed. Also, I’m thinking I might want to try my hand at making videos, but that’s not really a necessity. I basically just need it to work, and not be so big that I can’t carry it around…well, I guess I can keep looking, right?

Today, I got my new skirts from Eloquii! And…they fit! Yay! I got this one, in a 14W, and it’s super cute on. It’s a little long, I think, but I could take it up an inch. But it’s perfect with heels, which I usually have on anyway (being 5’3 makes me crave a little height) so I’m excited about it. I also got this one, which makes me feel very va-va-voom, but not so va-va-voom that I couldn’t wear it to work. …if I had work to go to, but at least I have a base for interview outfits now. I’ve missed wearing skirts, I think I’ve been wearing the same six outfits for months.

Gaining weight made me feel unattractive, still does. I’ve missed looking at myself in the mirror and smiling at my reflection, I’ve missed the sparkling feeling that said ‘You’re pretty, you’re attractive, you’re a sexy woman’ that no one but you can give yourself. Seeing myself in the mirror, trying the skirt on, I felt it. Just for a few seconds, but it was there. I want to keep feeling that, I want to glance at myself in store windows again and see myself as dazzling.

On that note-I haven’t been to the gym in a week and one day, mostly because I’ve been sick, and I haven’t been to my support group in about two weeks either. I know I have to go back to the gym, and I think I’m starting to miss it. Actually, that’s not true, I haven’t. But I’m still going back. I need to get my butt in the pool and on the rowing machine. Apparently the rowing machine is the best cardio in the gym. The pool is just personal preference. I think I need a little work on my strokes. (…nah, too easy.)

I do miss my support group. I think part of me thinks that I shouldn’t need it, but that’s detrimental to my recovery. I have issues, and I know it, and getting help carries no shame. I guess part of me thinks groups like this are for alcoholics or addicts or whatever, but I do engage in self-defeating and self-damaging behaviors, so I think I should go back. Leaning on other people a little might be all right.

Nutrition notes of the day: A scaled down can of Sprite has 90 calories, and 24 grams of sugar. Women are supposed to have that much sugar in a day. God damn. No wonder Americans have problems with sugar intake, it’s everywhere, and more than you’d think. I have a hard time finding cereal that isn’t drenched in sugar but that doesn’t also taste like cardboard. I rediscovered Kix…and then I bought Asiago bread. Actually, that might work. Then I don’t have to put cheese on anything. …or maybe I just like cheesy bread. Oh well. One thing at a time.

Sincerely yours,

J.J

 

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