A Quest for Cupcakes.

2 03 2012

Today started out the same as every other day, with me in bed, feeling unable to get up. But today! Today turned out to be different!

I got myself up, and dressed, and took the dog for a walk. I didn’t get sucked into the television or my feelings of being tired. Granted, it was one thirty in the afternoon, but at least I did it, without being too hard on myself. Which apparently gave me quite a boost. I got to the gym, which I am going to feel tomorrow, I think. But I built up a sweat, which is somehow simultaneously gross and satisfying.

Then I got the idea to obtain cupcakes. Of course, the cupcakes I wanted to obtain were a bit of a shlep downtown. But I had the urge and the energy to go, so I wasn’t going to waste them.

There was a sad thing on the train, a woman begging for money and carrying a baby. Part of me wanted to give her money, but I didn’t, because I don’t like that she is using her child to milk money out of people. I hate emotional manipulation. Also, there are programs, if you can’t feed your family. And women like that are usually being sent out by their boyfriends to make money. So I didn’t give her any money, and then I felt bad. I think I’m something of a softy. But there are people who have to resort to that sort of thing, heck, if I didn’t have support, it might be me. So maybe I should have empathy or pity for them.

Anyway. I get off the train, and walk entirely in the wrong direction because when I looked at the directions I think I inverted the little map in my head. So I’m cold and wandering around, but then a very helpful person gave me directions, and I reached the end of my quest in joy! I bought three red velvet, two lemon (which have been eaten already, because yum yum yum lemon cream cheese frosting), and two vanilla. Yum yum yum.

To my amusement, when I got home, my brother and his girlfriend are baking cupcakes. I guess everyone had the same thought patterns today. But when I say they were baking, they were using mix. Which I suppose is a good thing, as my brother has never cooked anything that didn’t come out of a box. And he’s never baked before, beyond stirring when we were kids. So I’m trying not to laugh at his attempts to whisk, and I had a moment of happiness and gratitude for my family. Even though I don’t have A anymore, I realize that it’s not as if I have nothing. I have my family, and I have myself, and I have cupcakes. That’s something, isn’t it? I hope tomorrow is a good day too.

Sincerely yours,

J.J

 

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